The Name of the Game

...so, following on from my opening comments about the person inside not reflecting the person I see in the mirror, another friend has now got me thinking about what's changed as I aged. Aside from the obvious, that is.

Now, my first name is spelt in an unusual way, and as a kid I never saw it printed on a bike plate or door sign, and forget about having personalised note pads! They're big things to little kids. *sighs*

But I'm much more mature these days. I recently bought a pen with "Superbitch" written on it instead. See, maturity at its finest. My mother would be so proud! ;-)

I think the best thing about growing older (if not growing up) is that we can do silly things like that, and we don't have to justify it to anyone, least of all ourselves. It's the big issues that cause me little moments of grief about making the right decision.

You may be wondering what sort of decisions I'm talking about...or maybe I don't have to explain. But, since I opened my big, er, keyboard, I'll say this: my son's illness, my daughter's sense of not getting enough attention, people I thought were friends, work, money, and of course that someone special.

These days it's not as easy as packing up the dolls, or joining another group, or deciding to be something else, or buying all the big properties in Monopoly, or getting your best friend to tell him he's 'dropped'. *giggles*

Sometimes the me in the mirror wishes she could crawl away and get to hide like the me inside can, and let the whole world just fend for itself for a while.

If that makes me a Superbitch, so be it.

Jx
©2009