Mum's the Word

My mother has decided to live for another 20 years, “if it’s not a burden on anyone.”

It’s a funny thing to say, don’t you think?

But it’s also got me thinking about what life has been like for her over the past 70 or so years she’s already been around.

Born 'between the wars' she has certainly seen a lot of changes in this war-torn world. It hasn’t always been easy, that’s for sure.

But I wonder if we make it harder for ourselves in this day and age. We certainly seem to.

As I struggle through another day with my two genetic offerings to humanity in a 3BR home, I shake my head at just how my grandmother coped with 10 people under the one roof, with only two bedrooms! (There was an addition as the additions came along, but that only took the bedrooms up to a grand total of 4!!)

And as we seem to barely survive on one main income, I marvel at how my grandfather provided for his family ‘in the olden days’. He was but a worker in a saw mill, so there wasn’t any golden handshake awaiting him on retirement.

Fast forward a few years and I really wonder how my mum raised three daughters on a pension, with no sort of support from my father (– oh yes this was before the new legislation that gives the Child Support Agency the power to pursue non-paying parents). Yet she paid off the house, put us through private school, and we never went hungry, really. Sure, we got all excited about the Vinnies’ hamper at Christmastime, but our clothes were always clean and usually fit us (except when we were going through the 80s when everything was BIG!).

Our mother managed to get us to school, and church, and sport, and shopping, and social outings without the use of a car. Whereas I’ve felt absolutely stranded with the recent troubles mine’s been giving me.

And mum kept us relatively healthy too, considering her own challenges (bilateral breast cancer, degenerative disc disease, emphysema, asthma, macular degeneration, IBS, just some of the biggies). Whereas I'm almost in despair when one of my little loved ones brings home yet another lurgy from school (I can cope with the big JIA ok though, funnily enough).

I guess not having much means you don’t want much, and mum’s always been a simple sort of lady when it comes to material possessions. Oh she likes a little bit of 'bling' and she was rapt when she finally got the house painted and carpeted for the first time in 30+ years (after we’d all moved out, of course; and it appears I’m aiming for the same timeline, LOL) … but through it all, she’s the one who likes to keep the good stuff for visitors or special occasions, and is almost embarrassed by our shows of affection come Christmas and birthday (like today- Happy Birthday Mum!)

Compare this with a world of ‘Generation Y’ers who expect a 10% pay rise despite this current global financial crisis (did you see that in the news recently?) and who simply cannot operate without the latest iphone, ipod, i30, and i-anything-else I’ve missed. Even we 'Gen X' crew take a lot for granted.

OK, so sure mum sometimes gets herself in trouble with using out-dated phrases in these modern times (like telling the milkman my sister was knocked up after a hard day on the job!), and sure she is yet to grasp the concept that a mobile phone works much better if you actually take it with you.

But if living for 7 decades on this particular planet gives one the same dignity and sense of humour that my mum possesses, then long live us all I say!

It has crossed my mind how I’ll go when mum goes. We’ve had occasion to reflect on it when her health has been more than a bit shabby. And I admit to being really worried about how my kids will take the news when Nanny’s not here anymore.

So if the old girl decides to hang around for another 20 years, I don’t think that will be a burden at all. In fact, I wouldn’t even mind if she stretched it out long enough to get that telegram from The Queen (provided Lizzy can hang out ‘til then too).

Jx
©29 May 2009