Sink or Swim

With summer coming on I started thinking it was the right time for a refresher course in swimming.

Oh not for me- I avoid a swimsuit like a cat avoids a bath- no, for the children (who have no qualms about being seen in spandex- or even in their undies if the urge strikes).

Since we happen to live on one mighty big island, with our home nestled between a lake and an ocean, I’m all for teaching water safety from a very early age. I mean, it takes a surprisingly small amount of liquid for a child to drown (as little as one inch of water!) and I know people who’ve had that tragedy happen, so I wasn’t taking any chances with my precious ones.

As soon as they reached the required minimum age (6 months) we were off to swimming lessons at a local centre.

They took to the activity like the proverbial duck to water, and I’ve gotta admit there’s a lot of enjoyment in taking your baby by the hands and floating them about in the warm water. (Not so much fun the mad dash to the change room when the water surrounding your child becomes suddenly and suspiciously warmer still...)

Things were going, um, swimmingly, until a ‘misunderstanding’ between the instructor and ourselves. Sadly, despite being well aware that our son had Juvenile Arthritis (AKA JIA) and that mobility was an issue some days due to disease activity, she still thought it perfectly fine to label him “lazy” during lessons (I since found out she’d told another boy he “swam ok for a fat kid” so maybe she wasn’t the best choice for a child’s instructor).

Swimming is one of the few exercises that doesn't cause a kid with arthritis much pain- the water cushions the joints and keeps impact to a minimum. It's also great for overall fitness, so I can't tell you how disappointing and frustrating that whole scenario really was.

We still let the kids go in the water where possible but I figured they needed a little stroke correction to keep them in the swim of things. And so a few weeks ago I signed the kids up (now aged 7 and 5 respectively) for a refresher course at different centre.

After a quick assessment, both children were put in the same lane for the half-hour lessons.

While I expected our son to have a little trouble getting his arm over his head for the freestyle stroke because of the JIA in his shoulder, he manages to get along quite fine, albeit a little slowly at times. (He does tire easily though and still manages to come out a glowing shade of red, despite the coolness of the pool.)

Our daughter, on the other hand, swims like a flea in a blender.

It’s hilarious to watch: one arm goes up and she darn near does a sideways somersault as she turns to swing the other arm…while the legs are churning up such a wake, you’d swear a 200hp powerboat was passing by. (It’s like having your own Jacuzzi without the motor!)

I swear, if the instructor didn’t keep a helping hand on her as they made their way along the lane, she’d be right back where she started (covering the whole pool in the process).

And don’t think just because you’re sitting on the side of the pool that you’re safe from the spray. No way.

My daughter can send out enough water to saturate the entire row of parents innocently watching their water babies. I try not to make eye contact now, ‘cause there’s only so many times you can say “Sorry”. (And it's really hard to sound sincere when you're laughing.)

In fact I’m almost inclined to pretend that particular child belongs to someone else entirely and just join the chorus of “tsk”ing (in shades of amusement and bemusement) that seems to follow my daughter’s progress across the pool. But where's the fun in that?

Besides, it sure is refreshing on a hot day!

So with only 7 more lessons ‘til the term is over, I’m banking on it that this instructor is making as big an impression on my children and there’ll be no need for any more of this learn-to-swim stuff, at least until this current crop of participants and their parents has moved into the bigger pool.

Either that or hope the budget stretches to a private session instead. Oh and bring the wet weather gear with me just in case.

Jx
©2009

NOTE: To download a whole lot of free Fact Sheets about water safety (in a number of languages), visit The Royal Life Saving Society - Australia website here. And to find an AUSTSWIM course near you, start here.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

I recently read with great interest the findings of a survey into what kids are looking up online.

The results were surprising, to say the least.

“Sex” doesn’t get a look in until after You Tube, Google and Facebook.

And “Boobs” (#28), “Naked girls” (#86), and other X-rated stuff only accounts for 9 of the 100 items on the list. Yep, apparently less than 10% of time spent searching the public arena involves private parts.

Seems kids these days are more interested in the funny stuff than any funny business, if you know what I’m saying.

That’s good to hear, in a world where the F-bomb is dropped a little too easily for my liking, and mainstream television provides an education that was totally taboo when I was a kid. My mum used to turn the TV off altogether if there was even a hint of something ‘rude’. To this day she still does the “tsk” thing if something raunchy is depicted while we’re in the same room. (Doesn’t stop her reading all those romance novels though does it, hmm?)

Perhaps I lived a sheltered childhood, but the most risqué thing we kids did was when the boys of the class punched the numbers 58008 into the calculator and turned it upside down (in my case it was 55378008, but that issue’s well and truly behind me these days...or rather, the proof to the contrary is way out in front).

The wildest we ever got was giggling whenever the word “bloody” appeared in the history books (whilst conspiratorially whispering the accompanying rhyme: “Bloody’s in the Bible, bloody’s in the book, if you don’t believe me go and have a bloody look!” *snigger*).

So it’s somewhat reassuring to see that of all the possible paths a kid could be taking on the information superhighway, there’s still some innocence at play here.

I bet the folk who ran the study had a few raised eyebrows at the results, but in a good way, mind you.

Yes despite the fact that the youth of today have questionable taste in music (something that’s never gonna change), and are also easily amused, judging by the searches for 'Fred’ (‘Figglehorn’, on YouTube, FYI)… it’s nice to know that the children aren’t being exposed to too much adult content, by choice anyway. (Who hasn’t been well and truly surprised by some of the results one gets from supposed innocent enquiries?!)

It’s certainly good news for any parent concerned about what the kids are doing once they sit in front of a computer screen.

Although you may wanna worry if you’re the parent of a child who types “Google.com” into a search site. (Seriously, using a search engine to find a search engine…what’s up with that?)

As it happens, the day I found my stepson had been searching for “pron” (sic) was the day I knew we had nothing to worry about.

That was one time we were happy he’d never won a spelling bee. Lord knows I wasn’t going to be the one to show him where to find www.dictionary.com!

Jx
©2009