I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles

There's something about bubbles.

Think a sweet sip of chilled champagne, the frothy foam in a steaming bath, the ubiquitous bottles of bubbles that show up in every child's party bag or wedding reception. And at least one chocolate company has marketed the fact that "it's the bubbles of nothing that make it really something".

And who hasn't succumbed to the pleasure of popping bubble wrap?

So you can appreciate the temptation that presents itself when a child's shiny new school book also comes with a bonus little bubble.

If you've ever had the parental pleasure of covering text books you'll know how hard it is to get the plastic wrap off the backing and onto the front and back of the book without crinkling, creasing, inadvertently sticking the stuff onto itself...or an air bubble. It's kinda like tinting your own windows, on a smaller, not-so-dark scale. And we all know how easily that little project can go pear-shaped.

So I cannot possibly tell you what possessed me to stick my hand up when the school asked for help covering a new batch of texts. Silly me thought maybe half a dozen books would come home with the kids, but somehow forgot that the vast majority of students at our school are orphans, apparently. The same few mothers (and some fathers I must acknowledge) always end up doing the bulk of the work when parental help is needed.  My designated pile of books wouldn't fit in the backpacks of both my kids combined. It took a couple of trips to the car with the backside falling out of the flimsy plastic bags they were packed in, before I could head home and get started on my latest volunteer work.

While the kids wound down from the pressures of learnin' (read: in front of television, snack in hand), I set to work measuring, cutting, and cracking the backs of a small mountain of materials designed to expand young minds. While my own went quietly crazy with the task.

Anyway, only a few hours after I started this insanity I sat back, exhausted, yet safe in the knowledge that no less than 22 new text books are protected from the pending onslaught of students.

And what do I see? About halfway down the pile, a brand new book covered front and back with glossy plastic coating.

And a damn bubble.

Now anyone who's ever sat down with a child to do homework knows how little it takes to distract said child from said homework. A sibling sitting too close. A catchy tune drifting in on the breeze from a stereo somewhere. The smell of dinner cooking. A bright shiny light. Now add the temptation of a little pocket of air and it's like bubble wrap personified. Many hours will be wasted by flicking, clicking, chasing it 'round the cover and trying to squeeze the air out. If we're lucky the bubble will burst first go, and there'll just be a little flaw in the plastic.

So now I have three choices. Try to tear the covering off and start again (but there's no guarantee same thing won't happen again next time). Simply not return that book and tell the school they miscounted (yeah right, 'cause they don't cover the 3 Rs at our school). Or send it back and hope that it's not the one issued to my child.  Maybe we'll get lucky and one of the alleged orphans will get it instead, let their parents keep them on task. Think of it as a small contribution to the school community.

I go with the last option, and realise that even though I completed my own schooling some 20-odd years ago now, I can still learn something.  Next time they ask for volunteers to cover the new books...I'll put my hand up for canteen duty instead.

Jx

©2012

School Daze

Our children’s school just had their annual Presentation and Graduation day.

Boy, have things changed since I was a kid!

Or perhaps it’s just that nowadays I get to see it from a parent’s perspective.

Oh, and before I go any further, I should clarify that I’m not one of those parents either.

You know the ones I’m talking about…never be seen in the schoolyard without full hair and makeup, not to mention the latest fashions all topped off with bling. I’m not saying that’s wrong, it’s just not me.

No, I’m one of those mums who are lucky to get through a shower in the morning without having to yell or race up the hallway to avert some major crisis on a minor scale. Some days I don’t even get to finish breakfast before the school run. And other days I eat my breakfast in the shower (and doesn’t that take a particular skill set and flexibility to avoid soggy toast?)! Mind you, I have become a huge fan of Nescafé instant frothy coffees in an insulated travel mug. (It’s amazing how invigorating it is to hop back in the car after offloading one’s offspring, just to sit and savour the silence and sip a still warm shot of caffeine, for a change!)

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t make a habit of heading out in public in anything dirty or with holes in it, and I can honestly say I have never set a foot in the school that was shod in some sort of slipper (my tootsies are actually an Ugg-free zone). But nor have I ever arrived having used any sort of electrical appliance on my hair beforehand. Hey, if I’m having a bad hair day, that’s what hats are for, right? Makes me look a little avant-garde amongst those that are coloured and coiffed within an inch of their life, I reckon.

As for makeup, well, a little lipliner or gloss swiped across the pout before going out looks like one made an effort without expending much energy. (Ye gods, I am turning into my mother- whose entire beauty regime is based on keeping a trusty lippy within arm's reach!)

Anyway, there I was, perched on a portable plastic chair nestled in amongst a veritable (and dare I say visible) cloud of product and perfume, trying to catch a glimpse of my child amongst the cohort of kids crowded into class groups ready for the big event.

It was pretty obvious pretty early on in the piece that a mere handful of parents really should have bothered fighting the early morning P-plate traffic at the local high school to be present as presentation after presentation went to the same few names over and over again.

Now, this is a good school. Very high achievements both academically and athletically, and every other kind of extra-curricular endeavour is fairly well covered too.

But one wonders how many parents are living vicariously through their kids.

I swear I could see certain mums and dads actually mouthing the words of their child’s acceptance speech. One grandmother almost copped detention for her overly enthusiastic behavior every time one of her grandchildren went up on stage. And you could tell by the end of the two and a half hours that some of us were merely making a polite show of clapping for kids that didn’t share the same surname as ourselves.

About two hours into it I found myself paying closer attention to what was going on in the student audience as opposed to what was unfolding up on stage… smiling in sympathy at those fidgeting in their seats, chuckling at the ones dancing on the spot during the performances by the “award-winning” school band and choir; and discovering that one really doesn’t need to be a lip reader to know what some were saying behind their hands while particular kids went up for the fourth, fifth, and sixth times to collect some kind of trophy or certificate.

So maybe I’m wrong, maybe I don’t see things from the parent’s perspective at all. If I recall rightly, I didn’t get selected too many times by the teacher to receive some accolade for attitude or application in class. Way I remember it, I was the one tripping up or down the steps on the rare occasion my name was called out. And even back in my day, there sure were the kids we all loved to hate for their over-achievements. We giggled at some of the parents too.

Maybe things haven’t changed so much after all, and like I’ve said before: just because we grow older doesn’t always ensure we grow up, especially when it comes to official school events. My Beloved says if I can’t behave myself, I won’t be allowed to go next time. Unless of course one of our little bright sparks gets noticed by the teacher for all the right reasons; and it’ll be my turn to whoop and holler as they make their way to the stage.

Better get cracking- with school wrapping up for the year, they’ve only got another 12 or so to do so. Which’ll give me just enough time to upgrade my makeup techniques too…

Jx
©December 2009

The Whole Tooth

What’s the going rate for the tooth fairy these days, I wonder?

I only ask because while helping my son clean his teeth tonight, I discovered he has not one, not two, but five baby teeth about to drop!

He’s only lost the bottom front two (central incisors) so far and has been eagerly watching all his friends reap the rewards of placing their little pearly whites under their pillows. And now he’s got the wobbles up in all four incisors along the top, along with the little left lateral incisor down the bottom, all at the same time.

If that’s not enough to worry about, there’s great confusion as to what a tooth is worth.

When I was a kid (doing my best impression of a granny here) it was around 10 cents a pop, but the deal was we had to put it in a glass of water by the bed and promise not to peek during the night, for fear of scaring the fairy away before payday. Plus we only got paid if our teeth were in good condition- a good way of making sure we brushed right, day and night; something we also try to impress upon our kids.

Now, I know in other parts of the world the tooth fairy doesn’t do cash, but leaves a toy or a gift of some sort instead (smart fairies those- ‘cause who knows how much those things cost?). But I overheard a kid at school the other day telling his friends how he got a note for his last toothy transaction, and a blue one at that (that’s $AU10.00 for our friends overseas)!

Sheesh, if the tooth fairy in this family had to fork out even $5 a time for the 20 baby teeth the average kid possesses, that’s (uses fingers and toes) $100 per child! Sure beats the hell outta the 2 bucks my mouth earnt me all those years ago!! Talk about inflation.

And to be honest, I don’t know if our local friendly fairy has a quick $25 on her if all five fell out at the same time…which is looking likely.

I mean, hasn’t the Global Financial Crisis affected the fairy folk at all?

With the economic downturn and the way values have fallen worldwide, I would’ve thought the going rate would’ve gone the way of a lot of things- and that’s down, not up.

But my son has put a lot of time and effort into all the toothy talk, especially since at all of age 7 he feels hard done by that a lot of the kids in his class are already busy growing all their permanent pearlers (our daughter is mega cranky because at 5, she hasn’t even started to get any wobbly ones, no matter how hard she tries); he’s managed to lose only two so far.

And lose them, he did.

After days and days of playing with the first wobbly one, it came out while he was munching a packet of potato chips. He thought it was a hard bit of chip so he spat it out on the ground. In the living room, for goodness sake! (Oh don’t worry, we had a chat about that, too.)

I just happened to look at him and said: “Where’s your tooth gone?” before he realized the error of his ways. So there we were, all four on the floor looking for a tiny little tooth in the beige carpet, for crying out loud. I found it and balanced it on the tip of my little finger to show the others when our daughter hopped up to see and accidentally smacked my hand in the process…sending the tooth flying once more.

The second tooth came out in the next-door neighbour’s swimming pool. Same deal- I looked at him and asked: “When did you lose your tooth?” which sent all the kids into a frenzy trying to find the thing. Yeah, good luck on a pebbled pool base! After tearfully begging the neighbours to let him know if it showed up in their filter (it didn’t), he came home to write an epic letter to the tooth fairy explaining what had happened. Luckily she’s just about heard it all, and still came good with the cash, despite receiving nothing in return. (Don’t know that I’d be so generous. Oh, wait…)

And now with 5 little wobblers at once, I’d best be keeping my eye on them. I’ll also keep the camera charged and ready, because if they do all come out at the same time, it’ll make for a great photo opportunity (perfect for, say, a 21st birthday party, don’t you think). Best stock up on soup and straws too, because I don’t think he’ll be doing much chewing ‘til the new ones grow in.

In the meantime, I’ll try and come up with a reasonable payment plan for just how much a baby tooth is worth (hopefully before the tooth fairy’s services are again required in our residence), and I’ll leave you with this little bit of wisdom to do with what you will:

Remember, always be true to your teeth or they’ll be false to you!

Jx
©2009