Faking it

Yes, yes, we’ve all heard the statistics- every woman at least once in her life will fake it.

Today it was my turn.

Having been part of the school Parents & Citizens Association for the past couple of years and having somehow held the position of Vice President for that time I was included on the VIP list for the official opening of the new classrooms. (Here I have to come clean and confess that I only accepted the role of VP because it offered the least commitment of any of the Executive, and had so far successfully avoided any events whereby P&C reps were required, so I felt a little like a fraud.)

Today, with due diligence, I primped and preened and put on something a bit better than the usual outfit for the school-run (jeans, top and comfy shoes, and maybe some makeup by home time).  And since it was a special occasion, I thought it wouldn’t look too cool if I was hobbling along trying to keep up with the official party, so I decided to suck it up and leave the crutches in the car.

Unfortunately, politicians being what they are, ours was running a little late for the event and as soon as she arrived our principal set off at a cracking pace for the tour of the new buildings. Luckily there were others older than myself in the group so at least I wasn’t last. In fact after we’d done the obligatory inspections I found myself seated in prime position alongside the principal and school captains, right up front of the entire school.

Which put me in direct line of sight of not one but both of my children.

It was while I was exchanging winks with my daughter and pinky waves with my son that I realized the whole event was being filmed for posterity and it now seemed certain that the school had caught me on camera behaving in a not-so-VIP way.

But the best was yet to come.

After all the various speeches and ribbon-cutting we then had to stand for the singing of our national anthem.

Now, I don’t know about you, but I have always been slightly amused at the televised close ups of representative sportspeople and the like at national events as they mouth the words of our patriotic tune.

Not so funny when the camera was possibly on oneself and one doesn’t know all the words as well as one should. The school stood as one, the opening strains had begun, and so far so good.

Until they started the second verse.

It was a classic case of that Mr Bean episode (minus the candy) as I sang the words I knew, and mumbled the phrases I didn’t…

♪ Beneath our radiant Southern Cross, we’ll toil with hearts and hands, something Commonwealth of ours, renowned of all the lands, hmmmm mmm mmm hmmm across the seas, something something plains to share, mmm hmm hm hmm hmm hm  hmm mm Advance Australia Fair, in joyful strains then let us sing Advaaaance Austraaaaaylya Faaaaaair! ♫

OK, so perhaps not as confident at Mr Bean, but at least a little better than the Penguins of Madagascar, smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

And fake it like a pro.

Jx

©2011