The Idiot Box

Anyone with children has at one time or another employed an electronic babysitter.

I know I’m not the only one who has sat their offspring down in front of the TV or DVD and prayed that there was enough interesting stuff to keep them quiet for an hour or so. Bonus points if they can actually learn something as they sit.

The word ‘Television’ is derived from both Greek and Latin words, and literally means ‘far sight’. (And some days as far as some kids are concerned, the farther out of sight, the better. Am I right?)

But there’s a reason why the good ol’ Telly is also known as the boob tube, goggle box, and the idiot box.

See, while my Beloved and I are comfortable enough with our kids watching re-runs or refreshed versions of series that were around when we were younger: e.g. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Scooby Doo, Tom & Jerry- even Transformers and The Simpsons are passable- but some of that new stuff is scary!

So in the interests of at least trying to understand what our small ones were watching on the small screen, I recently took another look.

I'm still not convinced the nicknames are wrong.

Exhibit A: Yo Gabba Gabba! Why do they have to YELL all the time? I get that they’re excited about life and all, but those bright colours, crazy songs, freaky characters, and all that YELLING does my head in some days. But at least it seems to be one of the shows that teaches children something, unlike many other questionable concepts aimed at the young. (Even if my Beloved thinks that ‘Moono’ was modeled on a marital aid...and can I just say, not anything I own!)

Exhibit B: Dora the Explorer and her ‘cousin’ Diego. Sure it introduces kids to another language, and demonstrates basic problem solving, but what about child safety? Seriously, where are their parents? Letting them wander off all over the world on their quests! I’ve also gotta say, ever since someone else pointed out their unnaturally close relationship, I look at these two Spanish mini adventurers in quite a different way. Kissing cousins perhaps? Hmm. Let’s not ruin it for the children.

Exhibit C: In The Night Garden. Case in point: Makka Pakka, Igglepiggle, Upsy Daisy, the Tombliboos and the Ninky Nonk. While I have never imbibed anything illegal, I can only imagine that they’re the kind of creations one could come up with after the drugs kick in and before the munchies begin. Perhaps one needs to take a drag from a little green bag to fully appreciate the complexity of the characters.

Exhibit D: Lazytown. Just watching it wears me out. And isn’t anyone else at all worried that an entire town relies on a bloke living in a blimp up above? Have they not heard about what happened to the Hindenburg? Oh, the humanity!

As for Chowder, Spongebob, Flapjack, I’m not even going to go there lest I start that twitching again. (And we can’t really afford the therapy anymore since we got Pay TV connected.)

All I can say is thank goodness my kids are too old for Teletubbies and Boohbah- they always made me feel like doing something awful to their soft toy incarnations. (Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, thinking calm thoughts…)

Anyway, the latest research supposedly suggests that children should not be exposed to any television at all until they are 2 years old or more…to give them a chance to develop all their senses without any extra artificial and superficial influences.

I couldn’t agree more.

At least, by the time a child turns 2 they should be talking well enough to be able to explain it to their parents.

Jx
©2009